About Chris Dale

It all started…

In 2008, at the peak of the recession, I lost my mother to cancer in August and my father to a broken heart in November. In 2010, my grandmother passed away after a stroke. Then a heart wrenching experience in 2012 of losing my oldest child.

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My Parents

It was Spring of ‘94 when I graduated high school and enrolled to start at University of Florida that fall. I found out my mother had breast cancer.

While preparing for graduation after 4 stressful years filled with anxiety and worry about my mother, the cancer went into remission. I felt like I could breathe again. But she was just a shell of her former self that was once strong, dominating, and confident in her everyday life. It was during this time I realized I had a strong support system.

Two years later, in 2000, my mother experienced a series of neurotic episodes that caused us to Baker Act her. (Which is to say we were forced to get emergency, temporary mental health care detention for her.) She was eventually diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s Disease.

This was such a tough blow to take. My father, Clorse, became the primary caregiver of my mother. This took a huge toll on him over the next 8 years. The stress caused a series of cardiac events, renal failure, and ultimately put him on dialysis during this time.

During this time, from 2000 to 2008, I was relied upon to guide my parents through their lives, both in financial and personal matters.

With no formal estate planning and exhausted financial resources, we had a family meeting to hear my parents’ final healthcare wishes. I had to secure and fund a nursing home for my mother for several months. Eventually, I had to make the gut wrenching decision to get Hospice involved to help my mother feel as comfortable as possible during her final days.

My mother passed away in August 2008.

I tabled my grief in order to help my father and focus on the reality of life without my mother. I had to care for my father as if he were my own child. The death of my mother was too much and he lost his will to live.

My father succumbed to a fatal heart attack just a few months later, in November 2008.

It fell to me to take care of all final arrangements after their deaths.

During these final months of struggling to find and employ professionals to aid in my parents’ caregiving, I decided to become a certified expert through formal education and mentorship.

From there, I was left to contend with my parents’ belongings in their home and the property itself. Although, being a financial advisor, I knew I shouldn’t make decisions out of emotions, it was still very hard. I ended up deciding on an estate sale, remodel, then rent out the home. After all, this was right in the middle of the recession and housing crash of 2008.

Unfortunately, this was only the start to the grief I would experience over the next few years…

A year and a half later, in 2010, my grandmother fell ill due to a stroke. She lived many states away, so I was forced to help from a distance. She was placed in a nursing home, but she developed an infection that ultimately claimed her life. My brother took care of the final arrangements, however I oversaw them to make sure they were the way my grandmother wanted.

My Journey Through Grief

I was left to pick up the emotional pieces with seclusion and alcohol. I knew drinking wouldn’t help, but the grief was so deep I didn’t know how else to find relief. After several months of depressive grief and drinking, I hit rock bottom.

At this moment, I realized I would need to employ a higher power. So I turned to my spiritual advisor and priest. He recommended I seek help from a bereavement group.

Joining this group was a major turning point in my life. It was comprised of widows, widowers, and parents of children who had all experienced this journey of grief. 

During my healing process, my wife and I decided to go on a medical missionary trip to Ghana. I learned that giving back to others is a significant source of healing. I also renewed my faith by investing time in a spiritual retreat with my church. Ultimately, I was guided to a point in which I felt more healed.

Two years later, in summer 2012, my wife, Annmarie, and I were expecting twin boys. But after 16 weeks her water broke, putting both babies in danger. We found out that one of the amniotic sacs broke. A mere 2-weeks later, named Christopher Clorse Dale was born, but did not survive.

The next 24-hours felt impossibly long as we prayed that our second son would stay put. If he stayed in the womb beyond 24-hours, chances of survival greatly increased. With a little medical intervention and a ton of support from family, friends, and God, our second son remained.

My Life After Grief

At 41 weeks, we experienced our first moment of Life After Grief. Our second son was born healthy. We named him Elias, meaning Lord is my God, to symbolize our realization that a higher power guided our destiny.

Another two years went by and we experienced another moment of Life After Grief. Our third son was born, named Gideon, meaning warrior, to symbolize our demeanor to weather hard times.

During these hard times, I had unrelenting spiritual guidance as well as support from family and friends. Constant group counseling helped me focus on Life After Grief. My strong support system made me realize how strong I really was in the face of adversity and how resilient I’d become. 

I now use my experiences and knowledge to now help grieving families and their advisors to overcome obstacles so they, too, can experience Life After Grief.

Use the button below to enroll in my online course for professional advisors called the Advisor’s Guide to Grieving Clients.